Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize