the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
