We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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