one two three fourrrrnication!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
