What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
