So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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