Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
