If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
