THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
