There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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