i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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