I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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