the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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