the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You pole danced in your parka.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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