Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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