Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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