Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize