just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
