When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
