i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
