I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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