I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
