Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
