I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
