whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
