i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
