Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
