Can Purell be used as lube?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
