I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
