Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
