it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
