You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
