Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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