i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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