no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
