i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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