Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
