the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I AM VODKA MAN
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
