You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
