addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
