i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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