I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
