Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
