Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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