how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
