It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
