The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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