I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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