Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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