I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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