Got a toothbrush?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
