Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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