i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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