I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
