she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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