She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
