all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
