So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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