i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
