"it" just moved
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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