No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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