All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
