Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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